interviews!!

well guys, I m in the middle of my interviews, this is such a long pathway but I have to go for it,,,,and its also the end of my american dream,..
well I performed very well in the small community prorgams, but I screwed up in the big programs, so at this point I dont know where I m going to end up, but I would like to match to abig program , although I not sure what is going to happen.
so guys I know I ve been asking you to pray a lot for me lately, and I feel like I m being so selfish but I just want this to be over, ...this american dream is killing me, and I have passed through a lot of things that I never thought I d go through.
I m thousands miles away from my country, my family, my friends, and after this time in the USA I wonder if I should stay here, or just quit this thing and go back to peru and do my training there, that is a question as I ask myself everyday before going to bed, and I dont have an aswer yet, but I guess at this point I dont have too many things to fight for here in the USA, and I have plenty of things in my country or even in spain where my best friends are living.
I feel so depresed , Xmass is in 4 more days and I ll be far away from my family, and have nothing here, so this Xmass I ll open a bottle of wine and get drunk, and try to forget about last months of this year which have been like hell, and I wonder what I did to deserve this...
anyway, I still talk to a coupple of friends from my country and everytime I talk to them , I come to the conclusion that I do not belong to the USA and my place is back in peru, and even after each interview I feel like I should go back, but to be honest I dont know what to do because I am really weak and confused at this point. I just want this to be over and go back to my country,,,the other day someone asked me if I could go back, should I still start this USMLE dream again, and my answer was clear, NO way... because the scenario was different by then, and now its totally different....but lets see what happens,
all I ask from you guys , is to talk to gad and ask him to help me please. I need it.....
thank you guys
and if I cant write again...just want to wish you merry xmass and happy new years
god bless you......